Sometimes , youu just have to take what is given nnd let go of what is taken back .It's funny when youu think youu know yourself well nnd th next moment , youu don't . This feeling , it comes nnd go . 0ne second ii think ii got over them , th next second , it aches myy heart so badly . Angelene seemed to understand me well , but until when must ii confide in her whenever this feeling comes back ? Amir , Nenek nnd Apis . ii just don't have th strength to let go , not now . Sometimes , ii just wanne turn back time nnd do / make things better nnd maybe , just maybe , ii won't be as miserable as ii am now . It's really complicated , living a messy life . Life's a mess without them . I'm just not that strong to leave it . Th memories . ii live for their memories . Peop neh know how strong those memories live up in myy heart until now . Its been years nnd it's time to move forward , ii know , but ii can't . I'm afraid to trust . No reason can ever be reasonable when it comes to this . ii see their faces in peop around me . It's really hard to live life , get up when life defeats me like this . Time heals th wound ? How much longer ? Until when ? ii neh know . Myabe soon , maybe neh .
Peop do learn to forgive , but not all learn to forget . But me ? ii don't think ii have ever forgiven myself for letting them go that one time . So how am ii supposed to live if ii let them go this time round ? How am ii supposed to forget about them when they are always in myy heart ?
