Bullshits happened wen ii expect it to. Bt fr dis to happen, it realli broke myy heart. Myy heart shattered. It sank deep in me. Wen Kak Fhad told me dat she hadd a bad news fr me, nth wen thru myy mind. Wen she finalli said dat ii had to be stopped bcus th auditor saw th warning letter, ii was speechless. It felt lykk th whole world was tumbling down ryt before myy eyes. Yeah, she tried to reason w me, bt nth culd stopp me frm crying ryt dere ryt infront of her eyes. Its nort abt th money, it was. Money used to be myy priority wen ii stepped in to wrk dere. Bt is isnt nau dat ii hav a wonderful crew by me. Dey are dose whum hav been w me, talking w me, advising me, scolding me, joking w me, laughing w me, crying w me. Hau cann ii take dis matter sooo lightly. Im just starting to enjoy life wrking dere w dis one andd only belovedd crew of mine. Whye does dis hav to happen nau ? Whye only nau ? Whye cant it be bfr dis ? Bfr ii wen thru all dis w dem. It all seems sooo selfish to me. Fr dem to take away myy crew frm me, at dis point of tym, wen ii hav nobody else except fr dem, myy ph crew. Shit, its a real shit alright. Fcuk live, fcuk karma, fcuk everyth ii believed in.
Im supposed to drop by th ph hq dis coming monday. Idc wht it takes, even if ii hav to beg ryt dere infront of th whole lot of bis peop or if ii hav to sacrifice myy one mth pay, ii will, im willing to do it. Just dun take myy crew away frm me, it realli tears me upp inside. Dammit ! ii just wish ii culd realli turn th fcuking hell tym bck ard andd stopp myself frm doing wht ii did dat nyt. Fcuk shit lhhh ! Im alreadi empty w/o myy family. Nau dis ? Den whye ? Whye nort just take myy life away frm me. DAT WULD HAV HURT LESS !
Kak Fhad said dat even Kak Shidah andd Marivic didnt wanne let go of me bt dey had no choice cus deir big boss said dat its nort upp to dem to decide wht happens to me nau. I DUN CARE WHT HAPPENS TO ME OKE ? I JUST WANNE CONTINUE WRKING W MYY CREW ! Is dat too much to ask fr ? A second chance ? Is it sooo hard to be given ? Fcuk cances oke !
Kak Fhad, Kak Shidah, Marivic, Fifah, Kak Nurul andd Kakak knos abt dis. ii didnt intend to tell Fifah andd Kak Nurul bt Kak Nurul saw me crying. ii had to tell her andd Fifah. ii just told dem dat it was myy last day wrking on wednesday. Dey just gav me a blank stare andd kept quiet. Was otw bck hm wen Kakak text me asking me to col her wen ii receive her mxg.
Hau cann ii face dem nau ? Every tym ii tynk abt myy crew, tears fall. Its sooo hardd fr me to let dem go, frm dese hands. Yes, of course ii can find anthr wrking plc dat is btr, bt will th crew b lykk myy crew ? Yes, of course ii cann find money else whr, bt money is nort myy concern nau. Yes, of course ii cann make new frends, bt cann dey b lykk myy frends ? Myy crew ? Abgg, Kakak, Fifah, Kak Nurul, Shane, Eduard, Jovelyn, Kak Ana, Kak Rianna, Faiz, Kak Fhad, Kak Shidah, Marivic, Aimin andd th rest. Whr exactly can ii find anthr of each andd evry one of em ? Dats whts hurting me, ii fear of loosing dem realli badly. Andd nau dey are telling me dat ii cant wrk dere anymr ? Fcuk dem !
Im just sooo thankful to myy ph crew fr all th funn andd un-funn tyms dat we hadd tgthr, be it a greatt andd memorable one or a suckish andd forgettable ones. ii hadd funn wrking w all of youu fr dese short period of tym. Hope dat ii cann make thru th appointment with th hq dese monday. ii'll drop by to see youu guys. Abgg will always be myy abgg andd youu will always be cute andd handsome even wen im nort dere to make youu smile by saying dat oke. Kakak will always b myy best kakak. Fifah andd Kak Nurul, stay geyreks as always. Andd to th rest, im sure to miss havingg funn while wrking w youu guys. ii hope youu wont frgt me ever oke. Ph crew is lovedd )':
Fifah, ii'll text youu wen ii cann oke, janji.
Kakak, ii'll col youu wen im in th shape to do just dat.
Kak Nurul, thnqs fr talking tings out w me earlier on.
Andd Kak Fhad, thnqs fr standing by me.
ii just hope dat someday, ii can reapply dere andd start wrking w youu guys again. Wrking andd having funn w youu guys aint th same wen we're just chilling out sumwhr else. Youu kno wht ii mean ryt ? Hope datt youu all will always be th geyrek andd kecohrable ph crew lykk no other.
PH CREW IS LOVEDD ANDD WELL, MISSED FOREVER )':
